It’s hilarious that we live in a society that will shame you for how much sex you have and for the junk food you eat. Like, wow, how dare you eat delicious foods and have orgasms, you’re a monster. Enjoy your miserable life filled with pleasures.
My mom got called on to read aloud in class and came across the word ‘island’ and pronounced the s (is-land) and the whole class laughed at her and the teacher told her she was stupid. She grew up hating reading and has literally not read any books, newspapers, magazines, etc. since my sister and I were younger and then she only read us children’s books because she ‘had to.’ So like, don’t do this.
"decipher" - I remember learning the word from reading, and understanding its meaning. One day, I actually wanted to use it in class and pronounced it "dec(k)-iffer", because with English there is literally no way to know how to pronounce it based on the spelling. Got laughed at. I got over it but not everybody does… why discourage learning??
Weird. It’s almost like people who do not get pregnant don’t even need abortions.
IN OTHER NEWS WATER IS WET
IN RELATED NEWS: SCIENTISTS HAVE PROVEN THAT THE EARTH REVOLVES AROUND THE SUN.
NOW OVER TO JIM WITH THE SPORTS REPORT
“WELL BOB IT APPEARS BASKETBALL IS INDEED PLAYED WITH A BASKET. AND A BALL.”
TODAY, UNDER A FUCKING ROCK UNIVERSITY’S DEPARTMENT OF REALLY OBVIOUS SHIT PUBLISHED AN ARTICLE ENTITLED “THAT’S HOW IT FUCKING WORKS, YOU FUCKING DIPSHITS” IN THE JOURNAL OF THINGS I COULD HAVE TOLD YOU FOR GODDAMN FREE. AMERICAN POPULACE AWAITS A LAYMAN’S INTERPRETATION.
At 19, I read a sentence that re-terraformed my head: “The level of matter in the universe has been constant since the Big Bang.”
In all the aeons we have lost nothing, we have gained nothing - not a speck, not a grain, not a breath. The universe is simply a sealed, twisting kaleidoscope that has reordered itself a trillion trillion trillion times over.
Each baby, then, is a unique collision - a cocktail, a remix - of all that has come before: made from molecules of Napoleon and stardust and comets and whale tooth; colloidal mercury and Cleopatra’s breath: and with the same darkness that is between the stars between, and inside, our own atoms.
When you know this, you suddenly see the crowded top deck of the bus, in the rain, as a miracle: this collection of people is by way of a starburst constellation. Families are bright, irregular-shaped nebulae. Finding a person you love is like galaxies colliding. We are all peculiar, unrepeatable, perambulating micro-universes - we have never been before and we will never be again. Oh God, the sheer exuberant, unlikely face of our existences. The honour of being alive. They will never be able to make you again. Don’t you dare waste a second of it thinking something better will happen when it ends. Don’t you dare.